Fred

[Kaptin]

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Fred,
Poor mountain queer nearly sucked his family dead
And then one day he was suckin on a dude
And up thru his nose come a bubblin crude
snot that is, goobers and more.

Well, the next thing ya know ol' Fred's a flamin' queer
The kin folk said "Fred, fuck off an get outta here"
Said "californi is the place ya outta be
So he loaded up his truck and moved in with Beverly .. .. ..

well all, Fred's made a comeback so well see where this goes.  In time you'll all get to meet his entire family and *aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha* hope yer prepared.

But, here's Fred in the flesh



and well, ya might as well meet his G/F Beverly. That southern sun can rip yer hyde off if you do not ues the proper sunscreen and old motor oil does not work

[tangelina]

well Fred got to sniffing his GF and turned around and spit and turned back and says...hey sweety hows you and then....

[Country Gal]

Wow what a lovely looking couple - not sure who has more hair -lol-

[Kaptin]

Mohair! MOHAIR!  Jeez now yer insulting Fred's dearest pet methinks *aaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha* not sure if it's a goat or what though, cuz ya can't see through the hair ... *LMFAO*

[Kaptin]

But your hair can be trained as was done by his cousin Ken not to long ago while on vacation in Beverly Hills.



110 volts of electricity helps I hear

[tangelina]

But in all Freds Beauty......he had to pick  mate......he was thinkin n thinkin.....and.....

[Kaptin]

Yup, he mated alright but the kid needs some work



Will probly grow up looking like Cousin Stinky

[tangelina]

But the dentist couldnt help....the salon couldnt help.....so all Fred's Kin went back up in the Hills and went back to making moonshine....they was all sittin in a circle.....chewin backa and heard a noise and turned and......

[Connie]

..whereeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Fred?

[tangelina]

Well Fred was busy sitting outside relaxin and watching all the Flash Floods

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=254162&id=1627370892#!/photo.php?pid=212494&id=1627370892&fbid=1074753722215

so He thought He would call some Cuzins to tell them to Come on Over for a Cook Out and to send the women folk to the Grocery Store

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=254162&id=1627370892#!/photo.php?pid=376422&id=1627370892&fbid=1144941876875

[Kaptin]

Well, whatever Fred does in Facebook is fine but after the rains he finally finished his pond.

One evening he decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared it, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in the pond.



He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

Fred replied, "Oh, I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or to make you get out of the pond, noooo! I only came to feed the alligator."

THE MORAL: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill every time.

[tangelina]

But as Fred looked at all the Boobs.....he turned his head to the right and spit bacca he been chewing on for 3 days.

so He kinda paced around and thot...we aint got no cuzins that look like that..bout that time a woman hit him upside the head....she had one tooth and growled....what you looking at?? he promised He wasnt lookin.....he was trying to decide...them thare people dont belong here........in his Gluttaral voice he said...I dont think them thare people are our cuzins....so they kinda  and quietly walk around n see where did they rightly come from....well it wasnt from the Hills..they were city folk.

well the hill woman was mad...and the Hill man was very excited...AND

[Kaptin]

so he packed his lunch basket and headed down to the where he found a lady who was O.K. with playing some beach 8 ball with him.

In fact "Beach 8 Ball" may become an Olympic event from what I hear. Hell, Hasselhoff has his Volleyball, Fred can have his 8 Ball

[Kaptin]

Fred is setting up his Mattress Surfing ride at the fall fair this year to help him raise some cash for his upcoming vasectomy and figured he'd make a few bucks at it.  Looks like it could catch on and could become a permanent ride as well. Have a look at his promo video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgK29hbWW54&playnext_from=TL&videos=zSH4kxN-aV8